For perspective publishers interested in publishing my complete work on the Bathynomus Giganteus as well as my expanded views on the Isopod psyche in general should write to me at:
Beaufort House, 3 Middlesex Street
London, UK (above the ramen house)
Or call me at 020-7247-7065 (ask for resident upstairs and they'll know what to do. Be prepared to wait a few minutes as I cannot walk down the three flights of stairs in seconds) It's best to call before 3 as that's when they close and I have a great deal of difficulty hearing the phone from all the way upstairs, especially during the winter when my windows are closed.
You may also write to me at the same address. Again, be very clear that you are attempting to reach me and not the ramen store, or they'll think you're trying to order something and will charge you for three large bushels of ramen whether you want them or not. It may take me several weeks to respond as I often do not receive my mail until weeks after it has been delivered and they will steal my outgoing mail just to be annoying (as if my life isn't difficult enough).
I also have a thesis in progress about the effects of the common house cat on the emotional well-being of the modern woman between the ages of 35 and 55.
Telemarketers and other spammers need not reply. I find the entire business most offensive; you should be ashamed of yourselves and I'm sure your mothers are.
Join me in my journey to unleash my inner potential through my passion for the Bathynomi!
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